Beauty and brains: What a concept!

We live in a society that loves to stereotype women. I plan to address these delinquent societal gaps in judgment and hope not to offend along the way. If I do insult, I offer my sincere apologies but it is probably time for a wake-up call and I plan to be the alarm clock with no sleep button.

Stereotype #1: Women are crazy

Why is it that after every breakup, our ex-whatever somehow has a doctorate and diagnoses us with a case of crazy? The dictionary defines crazy as “mentally deranged, demented and insane.” These sound like adjectives that should be defining a character in a horror movie, not a female. Though I am in a fantastically happy relationship, friend after friend of mine have been diagnosed with this unforeseen illness by their past partners. Should I call a psychiatrist for my friends or stop drinking the local Lehigh Valley water? We as women have to realized that there is one common denominator in this analysis… MEN! In reality there are two options for us to consider as to why we are all considered crazy after a breakup. Option #1: Our ex-significant other drove us crazy. Though this may at times seem feasible it is highly unlikely. Option #2: Our ex-significant other thinks we are crazy for leaving their oh-so-perfect selves. Use your own judgment ladies and then have a drink to your crazy fabulous self! Cheers!

Stereotype #2: Single women are on a mission to get married

Sorry to bust your bubble men, but we don’t always want to marry you. The last time I obsessed over wanting to marry a boy was in the in the fifth grade when Leonardo Dicaprio was at the height of his Titanic sized fame! Though our marriage ambitions left with the popularity of boy bands, we are all holding out for our personal “chick-flick” worthy prince charming. Unfortunately, the majority of you are not it! The greater parts of my girlfriends are embarking on quite the mission to not get married. As a child my mom gave me the most fabulous advice. She told me that in high school the easy girls will get all the boys but once I hit my twenties I will have an advantage. Guys ready to settle will never want a girl who has been used around the block. Why is it that the older we get, men become the more marriage-crazed gender? I define what every girl looks for by “can’t eat; can’t sleep” and this only comes along once in a lifetime. Though not every female ends up with the partner they can’t eat without or sleep without, we are smart enough to know when we are blowing time with “the wrong ones.” Hey, sometimes the oh-so-wrong ones are a lot of fun!

Stereotype #3: Women can’t drive

I may not be the best advocate to talk about this pigeonhole considering my first car accident was within twenty-three hours of getting my license. Though in the contrary, there are fantastic women drivers all over the world. Take Danica Patrick for example. She not only can drive faster then most men but she can do it in a pair of sassy Manolo Blahniks! And lets be honest; she looks absolutely amazing in a bikini too! Though we may statistically have more accidents yearly then men, this can’t define the entire female species. There may be a few reasons why we have more accidents then men as it is probably due to our ability to multitask. We can drive, put on our make-up, talk on our cell-phones and enjoy a morning coffee all on our way to work! Though I am being rather sarcastic this is a stereotype that needs to be put to rest. I’m sure Danica wants to jab a stiletto into every man who jokes about her being a chick!

Stereotype #4: Every time we are mad it is PMS

Earth to mankind and by mankind I mean all of society that is either a boy, guy or man! Though there are times we may act erratically because our womanly plague is on its way, this is not always the case. Sometimes we are mad at you because you are being an idiot or maybe you said something dumb like “wow your sister is hot.” Hey, Maybe we are finally getting fed up with the fact that you still haven’t hung the picture frame we have been waiting for 3 months for you to hang. Not every argument is Mother Nature related or that would mean that the red-death comes at least once a week. We are woman and therefore not every bad day could be solved with a prescription of beer and ESPN. Hey, if you would let us borrow your credit card I promise we would come home in a much better mood!

Stereotype #5: Blondes are dumb, redheads are angry and brunettes are boring

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
A: Say something.
Q: What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
A: The invitation.

Are we really so dense in society to genuinely believe any of these stereotypes to be true. Did you know Marilyn Monroe had an above average IQ? I could also say as a redhead that I am probably the happiest person alive and very non-confrontational. Doesn’t anyone watch MTV’s show “Jersey Shore?” That show is proof enough that brunettes are not boring; especially orange colored brunettes with blowouts and bump its. In today’s society where hair color comes in a bottle (though I must say I am a natural redhead) it is dangerous to assume personality type based on our luscious locks. We don’t comment on your receding hairlines or early grays… or do we? I guess you will never know!

One small step for man; One giant leap for the lipstick wearing kind.

One of the most prestigious high heel designers of all time, Vivienne Westwood once said, “I like to literally put women on a pedestal.” Though we adore the stilettos we house under our manicured toes, we no longer need a pedestal to compete in the Lehigh Valley’s business atmosphere. Women owned businesses have nearly doubled since the prehistoric 1990’s and we have become fierce competitors for some of the most in demand positions in the Valley. We now approach the challenges of the competitive business world with a confident face, wink and our notorious hair flip.

In the past, we have dressed in power suits, wore masculine shoulder pads and put on male inspired shoes all to gain respect. In actuality, the characteristics that make us female are the same traits that make us fierce competitors in business. Our skill in forming relationships, making well thought out decisions and our competitive spirit is exactly what makes us so successful in our trades. Some of today’s major corporations have dazzling women at the helm including PepsiCo, Yahoo and Walt Disney.

If you have read this commentary this far, I do assume that you are an incredible businesswoman yourself. You are strong, dedicated and magnificently fabulous. Your personal style is a result of your many hats. You wear the “Business Hat”, which comes free with a blue-tooth headset and a desk full of Post-It notes. Your “Mommy Hat” should be worn with pride, as it is your most important and delicate hat. Your “Mommy Hat” is white and conveniently covered with spaghetti sauce stains. While you are occupying your time wearing two hats, don’t forget about your womanly bombshell hat. This hat matches perfectly with a little black dress and a martini and unfortunately doesn’t get worn often enough. Without your domestic goddess hat, your house, car and office would be in a shambles. Unfortunately, this hat does not look as good as the sexy maid outfit we often see being modeled on Halloween.

This blog is meant to be the inspiring spirit that keeps you on your own path to greatness. It is true that some days it may feel as if the world or at least the Lehigh Valley is on your shoulders. We will balance our many hats with poise together while tackling the problems we face collectively. This blog is your best girlfriend, mother or that depression-shopping trip that we all take after a long day of work. We as women are destined to take over the Lehigh Valley one chick at a time. We have grown past girl-power and it is now time for WOMEN-POWER!